


We Both Wear The Pants

by AllDaveKat



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Accidental Stimulation, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Coming In Pants, Crack, Happy Ending, Humiliation, Light Angst, M/M, Miscommunication, Public Sex, Sharing Clothes, Truth or Dare, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:41:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25963024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllDaveKat/pseuds/AllDaveKat
Summary: A game of truth or dare results in Dave and Karkat wearing the same pair of pants for the rest of the night.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 17
Kudos: 195
Collections: Dave "Cums His Pants" Strider





	We Both Wear The Pants

**Author's Note:**

> cw for mentions of vomit (not tagged b/c it doesn't play a part in the story) and kind of mutually dubious consent re: accidental stimulation 
> 
> Thanks to [Jess (that one Maid of Space)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/that_one_Maid_of_Space/pseuds/that_one_Maid_of_Space) for the edits! <3

Dave clinks his glass together with John’s and grimaces as he downs his fifth shot of the night. It’s only been a couple of hours since he started drinking, and the room is already starting to spin. He’s definitely going to regret all of this tomorrow, but fuck it, might as well take advantage of his twenty-year-old metabolism and mostly-undamaged liver.

He’s sitting in the living room of someone’s house, in a circle with the rest of John’s massive group of friends. Dave isn’t super close with all of the trolls, but he knows most of them at least on an acquaintance level. His sister and Jade are here, too.

The four of them ended up going to college in the same city, and Rose started dating one of John’s troll friends, so now they all kind of hang out together in this huge, rambunctious, inter-species group. It’s chaotic as all fuck--seriously, twelve trolls and four humans is way too many fucking people. They’ve been kicked out of restaurants more times than Dave can count, for being a) too loud, b) too vulgar, or c) antagonistic toward the other customers. It’s almost always Vriska’s fault.

Anyway, it’s the last real weekend of the semester before finals, and they’re all doing their best to make it one to remember. Or at least, one to half-remember the next morning while hurling into the nearest available toilet.

Rose spins the bottle and it lands on Karkat, who groans.

She smiles innocently. “Truth or dare, Karkat?”

“Fuck,” he grumbles. “Since it’s you, definitely dare. You’re not wheedling any embarrassing secrets out of me tonight, Lalonde.”

“Fine.” Rose’s face is a little flushed from the alcohol, but otherwise she looks maddeningly unruffled. “I dare you to let Terezi draw on your face with a permanent marker.”

Karkat flips Rose off with both hands but doesn’t decline the dare. Terezi cackles gleefully and Rose tosses her a Sharpie pen, which she apparently just _had_ at the ready. Terezi gets to work scribbling something completely illegible on Karkat’s right cheek.

“I swear to god, Tez, if you draw a human dick on my face right now I’m gonna push you in front of a fucking semi truck,” Karkat threatens.

“It’s not like anyone would be able to tell it’s a human dick,” Dave points out. “That’s the charm of Terezi’s art, right, like it could be literally anything, and us ignorant, hapless viewers are left to theorize and interpret it by ourselves. It’s actually a pretty profound statement about the isolation of the artist, y’know, no matter how much of your heart and soul you pour into your work, nobody’s ever gonna _really_ know the true you, like it’s actually really fucking sad if you think about it--”

“Dave,” Jade interrupts him. “I swear to god if I have to listen to one more of your drunken monologues about art theory I’m going to fucking yeet myself out a window!”

“Like you’re one to talk,” Dave protests. “I’ve listened to you drone on about plants for fucking hours. And plants are so boring, they don’t even have like, themes or homoerotic subtext or _anything_.”

Jade glares at him and he wilts.

“Fine! I’ll just save my genius ideas for the podcast I’m probably never gonna make one day. Y’all’re missin’ out, though.” He crosses his arms in a pout.

John pats him on the back and hands him a beer. He sips at it huffily for about twenty seconds before completely forgetting why he was mad in the first place.

As the evening progresses, secrets are being spilled left and right, and the dares are getting more and more ridiculous. Dave loses both his pants _and_ his underwear in a double-dog-dare to Sollux, who he’s pretty sure is somehow hacking the game despite the fact that no computers are involved. John laughs himself into an asthma attack as Dave attempts to preserve his modesty with an empty Doritos bag. Rose delicately looks the other way.

“Man, this is no fucking fair,” Dave whines. “It took me like twenty minutes to get into those skinny jeans. Why couldn’t you pick on somebody like Karkat, his clothes are always so baggy and oversized. Look at his sweatpants, he could probably just yank those right off like Magic Mike. I bet you could fit two whole dudes into one single pair of Karkat’s pants. Fuckin’ ridiculous.”

“Stay the fuck away from my pants, Strider,” Karkat growls. He looks ridiculous with Terezi’s scribbled drawing of-- okay, yeah that does pretty much look exactly like a human dick on his face.

“I’m not trying to get at your pants, dumbass, I just think it’s weird how fucking big they are, like seriously, save some fabric for the rest of us!” Dave waves his beer exuberantly and it sloshes down his arm, soaking his sleeve. “Fuck!”

“Shut up, both of you, nobody cares about Karkat’s pants!” Vriska says, snatching the bottle up and spinning it.

Dave’s pretty sure it wasn’t even her turn, but nobody seems to be paying much attention to the rules at this point. Equius is passed out in a corner with Nepeta curled around him protectively; Sollux and Eridan both conspicuously disappeared about half an hour ago and haven’t come back, and Feferi is outside puking loudly over the balcony with Aradia holding her hair back.

The bottle lands on Dave and Vriska meets his shades with a dangerous look. “Truth or dare, Strider?”

Dave considers his options. He really doesn’t want to lose any more clothes right now, so-- “Truth.”

She smiles, baring a mouthful of sharp teeth. It's not a particularly friendly smile. “Who in this room are you most attracted to?”

Dave’s mouth goes dry and he’s extremely fucking grateful he’s wearing his shades right now, because his eyes snap to Karkat like they’ve been drawn there by a magnet. He’s not-- he doesn’t like, have a _crush_ on Karkat or anything, it’s not like that. The guy’s a cantankerous asshole to pretty much everyone except maybe Kanaya, but he always seems to be especially pissy to Dave. But Karkat’s also really fucking hot, so.

He shakes his head. “I’ll take the dare.”

John goes, “Oooooooh,” in a sing-song tone, and Dave ignores him, taking a sip of his beer to cover his embarrassment.

Vriska taps her chin in mock thoughtfulness. “Hmm. Alright, since you’re so obsessed with Karkat’s pants, how about you try to wear them with him? You did say they could fit two people, after all.”

Rose, who’s got her head resting in Kanaya’s lap, bursts out laughing. Vriska looks pleased.

Dave gapes at her. “I’m not even wearing any underwear, though, isn’t that like, sexual harassment or something?”

Vriska shrugs. “Karkat can always forfeit the game if he wants to, it just means he’ll have to be my slave for a day.”

Karkat is staring red-faced and goggle-eyed at Vriska, his chest puffed up in anger. “What the crotchblistering fuck, Serket! This isn’t even my own goddamn dare, why would _I_ get a penalty for refusing?”

Dave ignores the small stab of rejection he feels. So Karkat doesn’t want to squeeze together in a single pair of pants with him, so fucking what? That’s an extremely fucking normal reaction for him to have, it doesn’t mean he thinks Dave’s hideous or unbearable or anything. Not that Dave wants Karkat to like him, either, it’s just-- a guy’s ego is a fragile thing, okay? Nobody likes feeling unattractive, it doesn’t mean anything, shut up.

“It’s in the rules!” Vriska jabs Terezi, who’s leaning against her, with a pointy elbow. “Tell ‘em, babe.”

Terezi pulls out a massive tome from fucking nowhere and slams it onto the floor, barely avoiding smashing the game bottle. The cover reads, “Serket-Pyrope Household Rulebook.”

She flips to a page in the middle and licks the paper, then quotes, “Rule twenty-nine of Truth or Dare: If a dare involves the participation of a player other than the dare-ee, and that player refuses to participate, they must accept the standard penalty of ‘slave for a day.’ No exceptions.”

She closes the book with a loud smack of finality, and Vriska beams at her proudly.

Rose is laughing so hard that she has to wipe her tears on Kanaya’s skirt. Kanaya’s cheeks are tinted green but she looks quite happy; it’s honestly super fucking cute, and Dave wants to murder them both, as well as everyone else in the room.

“This is a fucking travesty, an outrage against personal goddamn boundaries,” Karkat seethes.

Vriska looks at him patiently. He looks back at her for a long moment, then covers his face with his hands.

“Aaargh!! Fuck it. Come over here and get in my fucking pants, Strider!”

Dave’s eyes are wide and panicked behind his shades. Fuck. This is really, really not ideal, but what can he do?

He stands up, wobbling and clutching at his Doritos bag, trying to cover up as much as he can. He offers a prayer of gratitude to the inventor of Party Size as he walks across the room to Karkat, all too aware that his entire ass is out in the open air. Someone wolf whistles, and there’s a chorus of drunken cackling.

Karkat’s looking straight up at the ceiling like he’s got a personal vendetta against it, his hands pressed to his face. A cute red flush is peeking out from behind his fingers.

Dave hesitates, tilting his head and frowning. “Uh-- how do we even fuckin’--”

“Do you boys need some help figuring out how to get into each others’ pants?” Rose asks, barely containing her laughter.

Dave’s actually going to kill her.

Karkat groans and uncovers his face, then tugs his waistband out away from himself with a clawed thumb. The pants truly are incredibly stretchy. Dave was kidding earlier but he thinks he might really be able to fit in there, jesus christ.

“Which way do I go in? Front to front or back to back...?”

Karkat rolls his eyes. “I don’t fucking know, Dave, just get in here and get it over with!”

“Uh-- Fuck, okay, I guess I’ll just try to--”

He stays facing Karkat and braces himself on his shoulder. Picking up one leg, he steps inside Karkat’s pants and almost topples over, drunk and shaky. Karkat grabs his arm and steadies him with a grunt, and Dave clutches him back gratefully. He manages to get his foot solidly on the ground, his bare leg brushing up against Karkat’s as he situates himself.

Lifting his other leg, he leans heavily on Karkat and steps fully into the pants. He tosses the Doritos bag on the floor, and Karkat lets go of his waistband, snapping it angrily against Dave’s back and causing him to let out a surprised yelp.

Dave quickly finds it’s impossible not to be pressed up against Karkat when they’re like this. Karkat’s wearing underwear at least, but Dave’s not, and his bare cock is pressed flush against the front of Karkat’s crotch.

He closes his eyes in desperation as he tries not to get hard. He hears laughter and voices behind him but he can't pay attention to what’s being said. All his awareness is on Karkat: Karkat’s soft breath on his neck, his belly pressed against Dave’s, the soft fabric of his boxer briefs and his hard sheath inside them.

Dave’s face is, like, four inches apart from Karkat’s right now, and he can feel Karkat’s breath on his chin. “Shit, this was a bad idea,” he mutters under his breath. “Should have just gone with truth, couldn’t have been worse than this, I’m such a fucking idiot, the fuck is wrong with me…”

Karkat glowers at him. “Are you talking to me? I can’t fucking hear you when you mumble like that.”

“What? No. Shit. Did I say something out loud? Was it embarrassing? Probably, right, haha, shit, sorry, forget whatever I said, or-- wait, you said you couldn’t hear me, so it’s fine, actually, never mind, just fucking ignore me.”

He knows he’s mumbling again but he can’t help it. This is so fucking humiliating. His dick twitches ever so slightly and he prays that Karkat can’t feel it.

“It’s not like I’d want to be stuck in the same pair of pants with me, either.” Karkat scowls. “This is your own fucking fault, anyway. Well, it’s technically Vriska’s fault, but you should really know better than to let her dare you to do anything. I don’t get why you didn’t just tell the truth, anyway, we all know you’ve had the hots for Terezi since freshman year, it’s not a fucking secret.”

Karkat gestures angrily while he rants, his whole body moving around. Moving and rubbing against Dave’s dick. God and he’s so _loud_ too, Dave’s gonna be deaf in both fucking ears after this night is over with.

“Dude, please shut up and stop moving,” Dave groans.

Karkat gapes at him incredulously. “You little-- You have the fucking _audacity_ to climb your stinky, string bean looking ass into _my_ pants, and you think you can tell me to stop _talking and moving_??!!”

Karkat’s whole body is shaking and moving like a rage-filled troll-sized vibrator, and it’s really starting to cause a problem for Dave. He grabs Karkat’s shoulders in desperation, trying to hold him still.

“Get the fuck off of me!” Karkat grabs Dave’s wrists, holding them away from his body with surprising strength, and _fuck_ , Dave really hopes Karkat doesn’t notice he’s half hard right now and getting harder by the second. He thrashes, trying to free himself, but it’s no use. Karkat looks smug, and Dave wants to smack him in the face. “Clearly you can’t keep your hands to yourself, shitbag. I’m keeping them until you can promise to behave.”

“Fuck you,” Dave growls.

Karkat’s hands tighten threateningly on his wrists, claws digging in ever so slightly, and Dave chokes off a breath, his situation escalating from half-chub to full mast in 0.0000005 seconds. And it’s still pressed right up against Karkat’s crotch, holy shit, this is the most humiliating thing that’s ever happened to him.

Karkat’s eyebrows raise and he looks down between them incredulously, then back up at Dave’s flushed, horrified face. “Are you--?”

Dave shakes his head desperately, even though it’s very obviously too late for denial.

“You…!” Karkat opens and closes his mouth, his gray cheeks tinted with fire-engine red.

Karkat's claws are still sharp and tight on Dave's wrists and his brain is confusing the pain with pleasure, sending little jolts of arousal straight to his dick.

"Shut up, it's not-- it doesn't _mean_ anything," Dave says desperately.

Karkat looks thunderous. "Oh, thank you _so_ much for explaining, Dave." His voice drips with sarcasm. "I was under the false impression that you were getting a--" His blush deepens as he indicates toward their crotches with a nod, lowering his voice, "-- _you know_ , because you had _feelings_ for me. I'm so stupid that I thought this setup was romantic, but thank god you explained that it means absolutely nothing to you, or else this situation might have gotten _awkward_."

It's like Karkat's incapable of holding still when he talks. Dave's been trying his level best to stay motionless, to keep his unruly dick from getting even more worked up with the friction against Karkat's crotch, but he has so far utterly failed. There's a rushing in his ears and he can barely hear what Karkat's saying, but he can tell that he's pissed as fuck at Dave. And rightfully so, Dave thinks. This is definitely the most humiliating situation his dumb ass has ever gotten itself into, and he's dragged Karkat down into hell with him as well.

Dave looks into Karkat's face, his own eyes still hidden behind shades. For just a moment, through the fuzz of alcohol and panic and embarrassment, he thinks Karkat might look... sad? Disappointed? But then the moment passes and Karkat just looks angry as all fuck, and continues ranting like nothing ever happened. His gestures get more exuberant and the friction between them becomes more and more difficult to ignore.

Dave hopes weakly that the rest of the group isn’t paying any attention to them right now, because between Karkat’s yelling and the arousing assault on his senses, he’s lost the ability to pay attention to them at all.

A familiar heat starts building in his lower belly, threatening to overwhelm him, and oh, fuck. Dave has to do something, he has to warn Karkat, or else he's seriously gonna--

"Are you even listening to me, Strider?" Karkat lets go of Dave's arms impatiently and grabs him by the shoulders to shake him. He leans in toward Dave's face with a snarl.

The shift of their bodies presses Dave's dick even harder against whatever troll-business Karkat's hiding under his boxers. Karkat's face is beautiful and angry and _so, so hot_ , and his claws are digging into Dave's shoulders.

It's just too much for Dave's poor, overstimulated dick.

His eyes slam shut and his face twists up with pleasure, knees wobbling and hips thrusting involuntarily as he cums, _hard_ , right in Karkat's pants. He manages to hold back a moan, thank _god_ , but there's no way Karkat won't be able to tell what just happened. Eyes still closed, Dave feels the warm wetness of his shame dribbling down his leg where it's pressed up against Karkat's.

Cool. Okay. Well. If he could just fucking die, right now, that would be great, thanks.

Several long, horrible moments pass before Dave can bring himself to open his eyes. When he does, Karkat is staring at him. His eyes are wide and unreadable and his cheeks are as red as Dave's feel.

The chatter and noise from the group behind Dave hasn't stopped; it seems nobody's noticed what happened yet, aside from Karkat of course. Dave knows that won't last long, though. He just came in Karkat's fucking pants, there's no way Karkat isn't going to mock him publicly for this for the rest of their fucking lives. Or at least until they all graduate.

Opening his mouth, Karkat leans over Dave's shoulder to face the group, and Dave braces himself for the complete destruction of his reputation and self-esteem.

Karkat's voice is eardrum-shatteringly loud in Dave's ear. "Hey, spiderbitch, I need a bathroom break. Do I have to keep this idiot in my pants while I do that, too, or can we take a time out?"

Dave hears Terezi's cackle and Vriska's thoughtful hum before she replies, "You have to walk to and from the bathroom together, but he can get out of your pants while you're actually doing your nasty business."

Karkat flips her off and turns back to Dave. "Okay, asshole. Think you can work with me, here?"

Dave's mind is blank. Wh-- is Karkat not going to rat on Dave for fucking busting it in his pants? There's no way he didn't realize what happened, so what's going on? Dave's not about to say no to an easy out, though, so he nods gratefully.

It takes about ten minutes and an obnoxious amount of yelling (Karkat) but they manage to maneuver themselves down the hall and into the bathroom.

Karkat locks the door behind them and leans against it. The bathroom is blessedly quiet, and they stand together, catching their breath. Dave accidentally looks up right when Karkat does, and they lock eyes for a few moments too long.

Dave hesitates. "Should I...?"

Karkat jumps slightly, and looks away. "Yeah, fuck-- Yes, you should. Get out of my pants. That's a good idea."

Holding onto the sink, Dave clambers out of the pants, his willy flopping around freely. No Doritos bag in here to preserve his modesty.

Karkat clears his throat, looking anywhere in the room besides Dave. "I didn't actually have to use the bathroom or anything, I just figured we should clean up the... mess." His face is flushed and he trails off, looking uncomfortable.

The mention of the elephant in the room seems to break a dam in Dave's brain, and a flood of words begins pouring out. "Fuck, I'm so sorry, Karkat. I can't even tell you how fucking sorry I am, like holy shit, that was so messed up, I can't believe I-- I mean, I've always been pretty sensitive, but I never thought... Wait, how come you're not, like, ratting me out to everyone, anyway? I kind of figured you'd be really pissed and just tell everybody how much I suck, because holy shit, I _suck_. And don't get me wrong, I'm super fucking grateful, I totally owe you like a thousand favors for this, I just figured like. I don't know, most people would probably get really grossed out and tell everyone what happened without even thinking twice. But you didn't do that."

Dave mentally shakes himself. What the fuck is he doing? Is he trying to make Karkat change his mind and tell everyone?

Karkat looks confused and a little hurt, and Dave immediately wishes he could take back everything he just said. Well, except for the apology part, that was pretty fucking necessary.

"Just because I'm an asshole doesn't mean I actually want you to suffer," Karkat says. "Look, it doesn't matter; you've made it pretty clear how you feel, and I know you didn't do any of this on purpose. If anyone should be apologizing, it's fucking _Vriska_. It's not your fault the universe and everyone in it is out to fucking get me, okay? Like, yeah, let's put Karkat in a humiliating as fuck sexual situation with someone who doesn't even have feelings for him, that'll teach this mutant fuck-up to believe anything good can ever happen in his life. Ha ha, so funny, right?"

His voice is bitter and unhappy, and it makes something in Dave's chest hurt.

"And it's not like I can even be mad at _you_ about it, either," Karkat continues, grabbing a wad of toilet paper and wiping himself down. "You never led me on or acted like you gave a single shit about me. That's really the kicker, isn't it? It's entirely my own stupid fucking fault for entertaining the idea--" He shakes his head. "It doesn't fucking matter. It's fine. I'm not going to tell anyone, and you don't owe me anything, so just don't worry about it."

Dave's mind is whirling a mile a minute. He feels like he's trying to pay attention to a class lecture but he's missed something crucially important, and none of the information is making sense.

Karkat finally looks at him. "Aren't you going to clean yourself up?"

Dave furrows his brow, ignoring the question. "Wait. Hold on. Go back a second. Are you saying... this whole thing, me _jizzing all over the inside of your pants_ wouldn't be a problem if I liked you? Are you... What are you saying, here, exactly?"

"Fuck, Dave, seriously, just forget it. I said it doesn't matter." Karkat's voice cracks and he turns away, but not before Dave can see his lip wobble, and... oh.

_Oh._

Dave has been a complete fucking idiot, hasn't he?

He takes a deep breath and places a hand on Karkat's shoulder. "Actually, I think it does matter. Because... I _do_ like you."

And it's true, he realizes, he does like Karkat. A whole lot, in fact.

The guy is such a grumpy fucker all the time, but he always ends up taking care of everyone, making sure his friends get home safe and shit, keeping an eye on Vriska and Terezi to make sure they don't egg each other on too far. He's always there, looking out for his friends and covering up his concern with obscene, ear-piercing bluster.

Karkat sniffles and turns back to Dave, but instead of looking happy like Dave expects, his face is pinched with hurt, shoulders tensed up like he wants to run away or throw a punch at Dave. "Don't fucking say that. I told you, you don't owe me anything, okay? You don't have to lie to me, I already said I won't tell anyone what happened."

"I'm not fucking lying, Karkat," Dave says. His heart is pounding and his mouth is dry, and it has nothing to do with the amount of alcohol he's had. "There's a reason I picked the dare instead of answering Vriska's question earlier. I didn't want to admit it--even to myself--but I'm really pathetically and embarrassingly into you, dude. Looking back, I definitely should have just sucked it up and answered the question, so we wouldn't have ended up in this fucking horrifying situation, but..." He shrugs.

Karkat's face clears, and he blinks, his cheeks coloring. "Wait... really?"

"Yeah, man." Dave's mouth turns up slightly, his foot tapping a nervous beat on the floor. "Now are you gonna leave me hangin' here or do I get to know how you feel, too?"

Karkat bites his lip, clearly trying to hide a smile. He steps close to Dave and pushes him gently but firmly against the bathroom counter. Dave's pulse is in his throat and it feels like time slows down as Karkat leans in to press their lips together.

Dave kisses back and is surprised at how natural it feels, how right. Karkat's hand finds its way into Dave's hair, cupping the back of his head as they deepen the kiss. Eventually they break apart, Karkat's pupils blown wide and both of them breathing hard. A squirming movement inside Karkat's sweatpants catches Dave's eye, and Karkat reaches down to adjust himself.

Dave smirks. "Karkat, I can't believe I'm asking this, but... can I get into your pants again?"

"I cannot _believe_ I fucking like you," Karkat groans, cheeks flushed. "But obviously, yes. You _asshole_."

Dave grins and reaches for Karkat's waistband as their lips meet once more.

**Author's Note:**

> check out this gorgeous [art for this fic](https://www.patreon.com/posts/41713331) by [ohdangdavekat](https://ohdangdavekat.tumblr.com)!!!
> 
> -
> 
> i'm @alldavekat on [twitter](https://twitter.com/alldavekat) and [tumblr](https://alldavekat.tumblr.com)
> 
> my [homestuck rp discord server](https://discord.gg/Zmq9B9R) (18+)


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